trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
