I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
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Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
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came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.