Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
