Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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