Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
