is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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