I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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