So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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