GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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