today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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