...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
