i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
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because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
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He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
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