well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Randomize
