bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.