A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
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I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
I'm going back tonight
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I think your dad took our porno
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill