hell yes lets make some ravioli
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.