he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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