i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize