You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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