Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize