At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
