I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
