She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
