This girl is more easily done than said...
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
