you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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