My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
