Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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