its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
