I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Randomize
