One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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