i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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