low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
