I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
