literally had 100 drinks last night.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I don't deserve a penis
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
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