also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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