Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
