I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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