I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
