How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
