For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
