Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
