Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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