My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
So much rum. So many feels.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize