The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
