dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
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