I feel like abortions should bother me more
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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