Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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