we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
