Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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