I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
