Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
