if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
