I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
