those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
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