I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Randomize