Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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