I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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